Growing up in a military family, I have repeated the process of disassembling, moving, reassembling and acclimating my home, community and sense of self across different countries, contexts and cultures. This pattern has led me to feel most at home when I am transitioning between layered identities. I am fascinated by the ambiguity of simultaneous belonging and longing, separation and closeness, the known and unknown. My work explores the emotional relationships we form with the spaces we inhabit. The focus, time and resources I pour into my work all serve as tools for remembering, honoring and understanding my past and present.
The series “Homesick” examines the contrast between my transient, international childhood and current life in the suburbs. While reckoning with putting down roots for the first time, I also struggled with the isolation of caregiving. I began a series of self-portraits taken in my yard and around the exterior edges of my house. I explored the intersection of interior and exterior domestic spaces, using my body as a cartographic tool for delineating and transgressing edges and boundaries. I physically connected with the landscape and objects, using gestures inspired by contemporary dance as a way to be in relationship with the environment. The images represent the range of emotions present as I wander through the space, from dark humor and absurdity to yearning and hopefulness. I choose to only show fragments of my body in each image to retain autonomy and control over what is hidden and what is revealed and to have the viewer serve as a witness to the deep exploration, care, and attention I am giving the environment.
These images capture the dichotomy of my liminal moments of freedom outdoors while also remaining restricted to our property, moments I spent alone but also in plain sight of my children and neighbors, longing for connection but also for the security of separation.